God, Life is hard sometimes
We stumble, we fall, and it feels like everything around us is falling apart. It’s not just our own mistakes, sometimes, it feels like the world itself is conspiring against us, throwing curveballs we never saw coming. When everything seems like a mess, when chaos becomes our constant companion, how are we supposed to respond? Where should our faith stand? In the face of injustice and suffering, what comfort can we offer to ourselves and to others?
There’s no doubt:
God, without a question, you are amazing. You are all knowing and all powerful. I love you , I adore you and I firmly believe there’s nothing you can’t do, Your ways in my life are a testament of that. In chaos you’ve been my anchor.
You don’t show up:
But God, As much as there are instances where you’ve worked wonders and miracles, there are also instances in my life where you stood back letting me suffer, letting me go through pain. Some pains are justified in the course of time as worth the suffering. But yet there are some pains where justification is denied. There were times when miracles were expected and nothing happened. It does not dismiss your sovereignty. But it for sure establishes that you allows pain at times for which you don’t given an explanation.
My puzzled response:
How should my response be God? To tell you I’m hoping for a miracle and put my untethered trust in you that you’ll heal people? That you’ll take them out of debt? That unjustified rapes would stop? When you’ve never promised that for certainty. You’ve left options open for us where we can expect a miracle. But you’ve also left the door wide open for them not to happen as well. What should my prayer be God, that i leave it to your sovereign will to happen? Doesn’t it simply snatch the one thing I’m holding on to, HOPE ? Or should my simple prayer be, Just stay close to me and give me strength to pull through? When I know “The pull through” can also translate to death, It’s not something I’m fond of praying . And I for certain can’t blame you for it , because you never promised us that.
My appropriate response:
Then I find solace in the simple words you told Paul that , “Your grace is enough”
Your grace that saved us from eternal death and gave us a shot to commune and know you is enough? Your grace that lets us enjoy the short moments in this planet when all we should’ve been was to be burned to ashes when you found us guilty of our sins is enough? I think so. but it’s a hard pill to swallow and pray. but it for sure brings out that what I’ve been having is pure Grace . Maybe then, My heart could finally acknowledge the goodness, though the pain still stand in the backdrop. What’s more painful? To suffer in my short stint on this planet? Or to eternally be separated from all goodness?
In the end, I’m left with more questions than answers, but maybe that’s okay. Life is full of mysteries, and faith isn’t about having everything figured out. It’s about trusting you in the middle of the unknown, holding on to the truth that you are good, even when life doesn’t feel that way. I may not always understand why things happen the way they do, but I can choose to believe that your grace is enough.