Have you ever been in a season of testing and waiting? It’s a difficult place to be in. These are times where God seems distant. The elation and high of God’s presence is suddenly invisible. It feels like how David wrote, Take not your spirit from me. In seasons like this you’re unsure if the spirit has been taken from you because of an unforeseen disobedience or if the spirit still dwells in you but you just aren’t getting that spiritual high you used to get.

Spiritual high can be dangerous. When we chase after it we are merely junkies. For some this can be crying during worship. Feeling “the presence” , feeling “light” and many more. Those aren’t bad things necessarily. But when people think the spiritual high is the only marker of God being close to them is dangerous.

For me my spiritual high has always been pouring my eyes out and sometimes hearing God speak a word during worship or prayer . Lately in this season of life I haven’t been able to sense either. There’s no word from God in areas I wish he’d speak. Though I long for that to happen. The one constant thing I see happening is God speaking through me. I am able to sense the spirits word to others but not myself. Sometimes I myself am surprised on how God speaks his words to others through me. But not in the areas I want him to talk to me. Maybe he thinks I’d never listen in the first place. Maybe he’s least bothered about that area. Maybe he’s talking to me in ways I can’t see yet. That brings me to a much more dangerous question, If God speaks through me to others, am I in the right with God? I don’t think so. As the famous verse goes, some said in those days we prophesied in your name, cast out demons in your name. And God says away from me, I do not know you.

Hence, God speaking and working wonders through you isn’t a marker of right spiritual standing with God. Then how do you know for sure in the season of waiting and testing that you’re in the right with God , When you can hardly hear him speak to you about certain areas you want him to speak ? I really do not know. But I’ll tell you , that sure is a tough spot to be in spiritually.